Grow Up

Mum: (chasing Stan up the stairs) Come here, you. I'm gonna get you. Gimme that bum, I'm gonna nip it. 


Stan: (stops dead on the stairs) Mummy, can't you just be a normal lady for once?


Mum: (laughing) Oh, sorry Stan. 


Stan: Don't laugh at me. I'm being serious now.

Ambition

Dad: What do you want to do when you're older Stan?


Stan: Same as I do now.


Dad: What do you want to do as a job?


Stan: I want to be a sharp knifer onion chopper.


Dad: Why?


Stan: Because I do.

Kicks

Stan: I want to touch your face with my shoe.

Lent

Mum: What are you giving up for Lent Stanley?

Stan: Weetabix and toy bats.

Security

Stan: If there was a burglar in the night I would take all the clothes off him and get Mum to cook something so the smoker alarm goes off and it scares him away.

George Lucas Take Note

Stan: Daddy, I'm Darth Maul and you are Darth Vader.


Dad: Who is your sister then?


Stan: Err, Darth Treacherous.