Saturday, 18 February 2012


Stan: I'm tired. 

Mum: Join the club.

 Stanley: (Beginning to cry) I don't want to join the club.

Friday, 17 February 2012


Stan: Mum I've fallen on my back kidney and it's gone hard.

Mum: Pardon Stan?

Stan: Oh, we're ok, it's gone soft again now.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Subliminal Advertising

Stan: (running into the kitchen, singing at the top of his voice) Moonpig, dot cock.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Ask Stan a Question.

If you have a burning question you would like to ask Stan then please drop him an email to  We cannot guarantee a sensible answer, but we will endeavour to email you back with whatever wonders Stan says. If we think it's a good one we'll post it on here as well.


So Stan Says

And That's What I Think of You

Stan: This sweet's gone manky. You can have it Mum, because you're a minger.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Star Wars

Stan: I wish you hadn't called my sister Florence.

Dad: What should I have called her?

Stan: The Phantom Menace.

Monday, 13 February 2012


As Mum bent down to kiss Stan goodnight, he grimaced.

Stan: No, mummy, don't kiss me, just go downstairs.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Traduire parlez-vous fran├žais?

Mum: I still find it hard to believe that in this day and age some disadvantaged secondary school kids can't read and write properly, some can't even speak properly. 

Stan: Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix dix dix.