Mum: Come on, Stan. Just try and have a wee before we go out.
Stan: But I don't need one.
Mum: Go on mate, please give it a try.
Stan: I DON'T need one.
Mum: Go on, just a little one. Go on, give it a bash.
(Stan punches himself in the balls really hard, doubles over in pain and looks at me in horror)
Stan: Why on Earth did you tell me to do that? It really hurts.