Saturday, 21 January 2012

Bad Dreams


Stan: Aaargh. Aaarrrgh. Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh. 

Mum: Darlin', what's wrong? 

Stan: The leopard's back and he's going to eat me. 

Mum: He's not going to eat you. It's ok. 

Stanley: Yes he is, he's got the brown sauce out.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Work Ethics

Stan: Where's my dad? 

Mum: He's at work. What do you think Dad does at work? 

Stan: He goes into lots different rooms. 

Mum: Then what does he do? 

Stan: Absolutely nothing at all.

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Feline communications

Stan: Catty, do you speak miaow or do you speak boy?

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Important info.

Stan: I need a bum hailer for my poo cough. 

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Food for thought

Granny: Do you mean garden peas? 

Stan: No, indoor peas.

Monday, 16 January 2012

Sartorial Splendor

Mum: Stanley, please put some trousers on. 

Stan: But I don't want to.

Mum: You need to cover yourself up. Please put something on.

Stan: (Slinks off to the bathroom, reappears with three turquoise sequins on his penis) I've covered myself up now.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

After Dinner Entertainment

Stanley: (Spoken in a whisper). After pudding I'm going into next doors garden to look at their washing line.