Saturday, 25 February 2012

Grow Up

Mum: (chasing Stan up the stairs) Come here, you. I'm gonna get you. Gimme that bum, I'm gonna nip it. 

Stan: (stops dead on the stairs) Mummy, can't you just be a normal lady for once?

Mum: (laughing) Oh, sorry Stan. 

Stan: Don't laugh at me. I'm being serious now.

Friday, 24 February 2012


Dad: What do you want to do when you're older Stan?

Stan: Same as I do now.

Dad: What do you want to do as a job?

Stan: I want to be a sharp knifer onion chopper.

Dad: Why?

Stan: Because I do.

Thursday, 23 February 2012


Stan: I want to touch your face with my shoe.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012


Mum: What are you giving up for Lent Stanley?

Stan: Weetabix and toy bats.

Monday, 20 February 2012


Stan: If there was a burglar in the night I would take all the clothes off him and get Mum to cook something so the smoker alarm goes off and it scares him away.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

George Lucas Take Note

Stan: Daddy, I'm Darth Maul and you are Darth Vader.

Dad: Who is your sister then?

Stan: Err, Darth Treacherous.